PROBLEMATIC

A rap song about identity politics and the Holy Church of Wokeness. Watch the video. Transcript of the lyrics included below.

PROBLEMATIC

WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY

Francis Aaron

*

PRODUCED, MIXED, MASTERED BY

Left Axis

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1.

Back before Cancel Culture and the Twitter pile on

The campus cults were a ticking time bomb

And a storm had been building

For history’s most fortunate children

They knew no pain, no threat, no trouble

No strain, no sense of struggle

Into an age of bias and barbarism

Came a generation raised on a diet of narcissism

Tossed into the furnace of the abyss

They found themselves purposeless and adrift 

Lost in a hopeless exhaustion

Awash in an ocean of boredom

Drenched in resentment and pregnant with envy    

Depressed and condemned to be empty

They had no goal, no elixir or nostrum

Nothing to overcome! – this was their problem!

They sought to be seen as – heroic

That their lives might one day be deemed the theme for a poet

What they needed was a target – a purpose!

An idea that could harvest the urges

They raked the dirt and and they dug manure

To slake this thirst was such a chore       

If they could do nothing but clutch at straws… 

They would have to –create things– to suffer for!

Perhaps to some it might seem puzzling

But – human beings need suffering

If there were no enemy to contend with

Then it would be necessary to – invent it

*

Chorus

It’s so problematic

Deeply problematic (x4)

*

2.

They began to awake goblins

To give their lives meaning – they had to create problems!

To acquire purpose and crack this puzzle

They had to concoct fantastic struggles

Monsters! – that they would be destined to conquer

From this came a collection of dogma

A body of fiction that they piled in stacks

A cluster of fables – disguised as facts

And they pondered the doctrine rigorously

A church-house of mad apparatchiks

Concoctions of cosmic idiocy

churned out by quacks and fanatics

From every orifice the stench was smelt

Deep into the subterranean depths they delved

When a trend then made its presence felt:

A pathological obsession with – “Mental Health”

The wretched spectre of – “Oppression”

The restless fetish of –“Progression” 

This infection was spreading like leprosy:

The mystical gibberish of –“Gender Identity”

Trapped in a cryptic weariness

The phantom of – “Lived Experience”

The shibboleth of – “Intersectionality”

A willingness to disrespect reality

The blockheaded “gender” fallacy

The obsession with “sexuality”

The extreme fixation on “race”

These themes dictated the faith

*

3.

At last! – a creed of grievance was built

And its task was to breed the feeling of guilt

To secure power – to make them feel filthy

The innocent must be made – to feel guilty

To sing a political hymn to bitterness

Repent! – for the Original Sin of – “privilege”

Enthralled by the gospel’s passion

This command was installed as a moral fashion

And as these flagellants ravaged their health

A Priesthood began to anchor itself

A clergy of guilt-tripping chaplains

And a neurotic flock of guilt-stricken hatchlings

A rabble of activism would labour

For a catechism that cast suspicion on nature

And it had them thinking it would bring the hour

In which this masochism would give them – power

The masses were tongue-tied now

By a vulpine vow – to turn the world upside down

To dictate the terms that they shall use

Through – a great inversion of values

A sickly cult with a worldview

In which: victimhood became –“virtue”

Strength and integrity were made – “odious”

Madness now became – “holiness”

Obesity became – “body positivity”

That speech would be restrained was a probability

As they masked their bigotry in weak logic

Masculinity was deemed – “toxic”

The meaning of man and woman had to be blurred

And a guaranteed herd would hang on each word

They mapped the battleground with such cunning

In their world: – man could now become woman

And under the improbable belief he would flourish

This impossibility was even – encouraged!

A strange circus did invoke now:      

The deranged worship of the pronoun

To tame the uncouth and to mould its conduct

They claimed that truth was a social construct

These structures would be combusted!

Everything had to be – deconstructed

Eager to be judged a disciple

Some anaemic sheep were sucked in its spiral

Who felt their slumbers had endangered them

Knowledge of these “structures” had “awakened” them 

So they styled themselves as – “Woke”

Now the fires of hell had been stoked

Draped in cassocks, costumes and disguises

They would soon conclude they were “Righteous”

Clothed and buttressed and soaked with smugness

These Wokeish juntas had grown in clusters

Cloaked in the robes of: – “Social Justice”

Their goal was – “to explode the structures”

They appeared from a trapdoor – hissing and frothing

Derridean hacksaws swinging and chopping

Everything was absorbed into the doctrine

Everything was transformed into: – a problem

Everything had to be – problematised        

And the mollycoddled colleges swallowed the lies

They gobbled the dogma of the problem addicts 

And everything was thus rendered – “problematic”